Loving difficult people is one of Christianity’s hardest commands. It’s easy to love people who are easy to love, who reciprocate your affection, who treat you well, and who make your life better.
But Jesus calls you to love your enemies, pray for those who persecute you, and turn the other cheek when someone strikes you. He commands you to love the person who constantly criticizes, the family member who drains you emotionally, the coworker who undermines you, the hostile neighbor, and the church member who gossips about you.
Psychologist Dr. Henry Cloud notes that:
We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing.
Sometimes the pain of harboring bitterness toward difficult people becomes unbearable, forcing us to choose a different path. The path Jesus offers isn’t easy, but it’s freeing. Loving difficult people doesn’t mean tolerating abuse or having no boundaries.
It means refusing to let their behavior dictate your response, choosing blessing over cursing, and trusting God to handle justice while you extend mercy. It’s supernatural love that only flows from God’s Spirit working through you.
These verses reveal that loving difficult people is both a command and a pathway to freedom, that it distinguishes genuine Christianity from mere cultural morality, and that it’s possible only through God’s enabling grace.
Bible Verses For Loving Difficult People
1. Matthew 5:44 – Love Your Enemies
But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.
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2. Luke 6:27-28 – Do Good to Those Who Hate You
But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.
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3. Romans 12:18 – Live at Peace With Everyone
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
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4. Romans 12:20-21 – Overcome Evil With Good
On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
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5. Proverbs 25:21-22 – If Your Enemy Is Hungry, Give Him Food
If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you.
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6. 1 Peter 3:9 – Do Not Repay Evil With Evil
Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.
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7. Colossians 3:13 – Bear With Each Other
Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
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8. Matthew 18:21-22 – Seventy-Seven Times
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”
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9. Romans 12:14 – Bless Those Who Persecute You
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.
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10. Ephesians 4:32 – Be Kind and Compassionate
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
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11. Luke 6:35 – Love Your Enemies, Do Good to Them
But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.
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12. Proverbs 15:1 – A Gentle Answer Turns Away Wrath
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
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13. Romans 13:8 – Let No Debt Remain Outstanding, Except Love
Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law.
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14. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 – Love Is Patient, Love Is Kind
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
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15. Matthew 5:38-39 – Turn the Other Cheek
You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.
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16. Galatians 6:2 – Carry Each Other’s Burdens
Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
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17. James 1:19-20 – Be Slow to Become Angry
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.
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18. Proverbs 19:11 – It Is to One’s Glory to Overlook an Offense
A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.
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19. 1 Thessalonians 5:15 – Make Sure That Nobody Pays Back Wrong for Wrong
Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else.
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20. Hebrews 12:14 – Make Every Effort to Live in Peace
Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.
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21. Romans 14:19 – Let Us Make Every Effort to Do What Leads to Peace
Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.
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22. Matthew 7:12 – Do to Others What You Would Have Them Do to You
So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.
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23. 1 John 4:20 – Whoever Claims to Love God Yet Hates a Brother
Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.
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24. Leviticus 19:18 – Love Your Neighbor as Yourself
Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.
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25. Philippians 2:3-4 – Value Others Above Yourselves
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
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26. 1 Peter 4:8 – Love Covers Over a Multitude of Sins
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
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27. Proverbs 10:12 – Love Covers Over All Wrongs
Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs.
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28. Ephesians 4:2 – Be Patient, Bearing With One Another in Love
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
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29. 2 Timothy 2:24 – The Lord’s Servant Must Not Be Quarrelsome
And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.
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30. John 13:34-35 – Love One Another
A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.
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31. Romans 12:17 – Do Not Repay Anyone Evil for Evil
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.
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32. Matthew 5:9 – Blessed Are the Peacemakers
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
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33. Galatians 5:22-23 – The Fruit of the Spirit Is Patience
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
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34. Proverbs 16:7 – When the Lord Takes Pleasure in Anyone’s Way
When the Lord takes pleasure in anyone’s way, he causes their enemies to make peace with them.
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35. Luke 23:34 – Father, Forgive Them
Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.
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Our Thoughts On What the Bible Says About Loving Difficult People
Loving difficult people doesn’t mean having no boundaries or tolerating abuse. Jesus loved everyone, but He didn’t give everyone equal access to His life. He had boundaries with the Pharisees. He walked away from hostile crowds. He told His disciples to shake dust off their feet and move on when people rejected the gospel.
Loving difficult people means you refuse to return evil for evil, you pray for their good, and you extend mercy. But it doesn’t mean you have to stay in toxic relationships or enable destructive behavior. Love and boundaries coexist.
The hardest part is that loving difficult people benefits you as much as them. Bitterness is an acid that destroys the container holding it. When you harbor resentment, rehearse offenses, and plot revenge, you’re the one who suffers most.
The difficult person often doesn’t care or even know you’re bitter. But you’re in prison. Jesus commands you to love enemies partly to free you from that prison. When you choose blessing over cursing, you break bitterness’s power over your soul.
This kind of love is supernatural. You can’t manufacture it through willpower or positive thinking. It flows from God’s Spirit, producing His fruit in you. When you’re connected to Christ, His love flows through you to others, even difficult others.
The question isn’t whether difficult people deserve love; it’s whether you’ll allow God’s love to work through you regardless of whether they deserve it. That’s how Christ loved you while you were still His enemy.
Say This Prayer
Heavenly Father, loving difficult people feels impossible. Some people drain me emotionally, hurt me repeatedly, and make life miserable. My natural response is to avoid them, retaliate, or harbor bitterness. I desperately need Your supernatural love to flow through me because I don’t have this kind of love on my own.
Help me to love my enemies, do good to those who hate me, and pray for those who persecute me. Give me the strength to overcome evil with good instead of repaying evil for evil. Help me to be patient and kind even when it’s not reciprocated, to forgive repeatedly, and to refuse to keep records of wrongs.
Give me wisdom to know when love requires boundaries. Help me to distinguish between enabling destructive behavior and extending mercy. Let me love difficult people without letting them destroy me. Teach me to bless those who curse me and to respond with gentleness rather than retaliation.
Break the power of bitterness in my heart. Free me from the prison of resentment. Help me to trust You with justice while I extend mercy. Let Your love flow through me to people who don’t deserve it, the same way Your love flowed to me when I didn’t deserve it.
In Jesus’ merciful Name, Amen.