They know exactly which buttons to push to make you feel guilty, responsible, or small. Maybe it’s the parent who uses emotional manipulation to control your decisions, the sibling who plays victim while creating chaos, or the in-law who uses subtle put-downs disguised as concern. You find yourself walking on eggshells, second-guessing your perceptions, and feeling drained after every family interaction.
Manipulative relatives present a unique challenge because you can’t simply cut them out of your life like you might with toxic friends or coworkers. Family obligations, shared history, and social expectations create pressure to maintain relationships even when they’re unhealthy. You might feel trapped between honoring your family and protecting your mental health, especially when other relatives don’t see the manipulation or actively enable the behavior.
The guilt can be overwhelming, particularly for Christians who value forgiveness and family loyalty. You might wonder if setting boundaries makes you unloving, or if recognizing manipulation means you’re being judgmental. But biblical love doesn’t require you to accept abuse or enable destructive behavior. God calls us to wisdom in relationships, and sometimes love means saying no to manipulation while still maintaining appropriate respect and care for family members who struggle with these patterns.
Bible Verses About Dealing with Manipulative Relatives
1. Matthew 10:16 – Be as Wise as Serpents and Innocent as Doves
Be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.
New International Version (NIV)
2. Proverbs 27:6 – Wounds from a Friend Can Be Trusted
Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.
English Standard Version (ESV)
3. Galatians 1:10 – Am I Now Trying to Win the Approval of Human Beings?
For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ.
New King James Version (NKJV)
4. Proverbs 22:5 – In the Paths of the Wicked Are Snares and Pitfalls
Corrupt people walk a thorny, treacherous road; whoever values life will avoid it.
New Living Translation (NLT)
5. Ephesians 5:11 – Have Nothing to Do with the Fruitless Deeds of Darkness
Don’t participate in the fruitless works of darkness, but instead expose them.
Christian Standard Bible (CSB)
6. 2 Timothy 3:2-5 – People Will Be Lovers of Themselves
For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these.
New American Standard Bible (NASB)
7. Proverbs 26:24-26 – Enemies Disguise Themselves with Their Lips
He that hateth dissembleth with his lips, and layeth up deceit within him; When he speaketh fair, believe him not: for there are seven abominations in his heart. Whose hatred is covered by deceit, his wickedness shall be shewed before the whole congregation.
King James Version (KJV)
8. Romans 16:17-18 – Watch Out for Those Who Cause Divisions
I urge you, brothers and sisters, to keep an eye on those who cause dissensions and offenses, in opposition to the teaching that you have learned; avoid them. For such people do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naive.
New Revised Standard Version (NRSV)
9. Proverbs 16:29 – The Violent Entice Their Neighbors
Destructive people seduce their friends and lure them down a hazardous path that ends in nothing good.
The Message (MSG)
10. 1 Thessalonians 5:22 – Reject Every Kind of Evil
Abstain from every form of evil [withdraw and keep away from it].
Amplified Bible (AMP)
11. Luke 6:26 – Woe to You When Everyone Speaks Well of You
Woe to you when all people speak well of you, for that is how their ancestors treated the false prophets.
New English Translation (NET)
12. Proverbs 29:5 – Those Who Flatter Their Neighbors
A man who flatters his neighbor spreads a net for his steps.
Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)
13. Matthew 7:15 – Watch Out for False Prophets
Watch out for false prophets! They dress up like sheep, but inside they are wolves who have come to attack you.
Contemporary English Version (CEV)
14. 2 Corinthians 11:14-15 – Satan Himself Masquerades as an Angel of Light
And no wonder! Even Satan can disguise himself to look like an angel of light. So it is no great thing if his servants also disguise themselves to look like servants of righteousness. In the end they will get exactly what their actions deserve.
Good News Translation (GNT)
15. Psalm 55:21 – His Talk Is Smooth as Butter
His words are slippery like butter, but war is in his heart. His words are smoother than oil, but they cut like knives.
New Century Version (NCV)
16. Proverbs 20:19 – A Gossip Betrays a Confidence
Whoever spreads gossip betrays confidences; so don’t get involved with someone who talks too much.
International Standard Version (ISV)
17. Matthew 18:17 – If They Still Refuse to Listen
If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the community. And if he refuses to listen even to the community, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.
Tree of Life Version (TLV)
18. Titus 3:10 – Warn a Divisive Person Once
Reject a factious person after a first and second warning.
Lexham English Bible (LEB)
19. 1 Corinthians 15:33 – Bad Company Corrupts Good Character
Don’t be deceived! “Evil companionships corrupt good morals.”
World English Bible (WEB)
20. Proverbs 14:7 – Stay Away from a Fool
Go from the presence of a foolish man, When thou hast not known lips of knowledge.
American Standard Version (ASV)
21. 2 John 1:10 – Anyone Who Comes to You and Does Not Bring This Teaching
If any one comes to you and does not bring this doctrine, do not receive him into the house or give him any greeting.
Revised Standard Version (RSV)
22. Psalm 120:2 – Save Me, Lord, from Lying Lips
Deliver my soul, O Lord, from lying lips and from a deceitful tongue.
New American Bible (NAB)
23. Proverbs 6:16-19 – Six Things the Lord Hates
These six things doth the Lord hate, and the seventh his soul detesteth: Haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood: A heart that deviseth wicked plots, feet that are swift to run into mischief: A deceitful witness that uttereth lies, and him that soweth discord among brethren.
Douay-Rheims Bible (DRB)
24. Acts 20:30 – Even from Your Own Number Men Will Arise
And from among your own selves shall men arise, speaking perverse things, to draw away the disciples after them.
English Revised Version (ERV)
25. Jeremiah 17:9 – The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things
Crooked is the heart above all things, And it is incurable — who doth know it?
Young’s Literal Translation (YLT)
26. 2 Corinthians 6:14 – Do Not Be Yoked Together with Unbelievers
Be not diversely yoked with unbelievers; for what participation is there between righteousness and lawlessness? or what fellowship of light with darkness?
Darby Translation (DARBY)
27. Proverbs 13:20 – Walk with the Wise and Become Wise
He who walks with wise men becomes wise, but the companion of fools will smart for it.
Weymouth New Testament (WNT)
28. Matthew 10:36 – A Man’s Enemies Will Be the Members of His Own Household
And the enemyes of a man, schulen be thei that ben homeli with hym.
Wycliffe Bible (WYC)
29. Galatians 6:7 – Do Not Be Deceived: God Cannot Be Mocked
Be not deceiued: God is not mocked: for whatsoeuer a man soweth, that shall he also reape.
Geneva Bible (GNV)
30. Proverbs 15:28 – The Heart of the Righteous Studies How to Answer
The heart of the righteous studyeth to aunswere: but the mouth of the vngodly powreth out euyl thynges.
Bishop’s Bible
31. Luke 14:26 – Anyone Who Comes to Me Must Hate Father and Mother
If any man come to me and hate not his father and mother and wyfe and chyldren and brethren and systers ye and his awne lyfe he cannot be my disciple.
Tyndale Bible
32. Psalm 101:7 – No One Who Practices Deceit Will Dwell in My House
I will not allow deceivers to serve in my house, and liars will not stay in my presence.
The Living Bible (TLB)
33. Proverbs 26:28 – A Lying Tongue Hates Those It Hurts
A lying tongue hates its victims, and a flattering mouth works ruin.
The Passion Translation (TPT)
34. 1 John 4:1 – Dear Friends, Do Not Believe Every Spirit
Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.
The Voice Bible (VOICE)
35. Matthew 7:16 – By Their Fruit You Will Recognize Them
You will know these people by what they do. Good things don’t come from bad people, just as grapes don’t come from thornbushes. And figs don’t come from thorny weeds.
New International Reader’s Version (NIrV)
Our Thoughts On What the Bible Says About Manipulative Relatives
Scripture is surprisingly direct about the reality of manipulative and harmful people, even within families. The Bible doesn’t romanticize family relationships or suggest that blood ties automatically create healthy dynamics. Instead, it provides practical wisdom for discerning character, setting boundaries, and protecting ourselves from those who would use our love and loyalty against us.
What strikes me most about biblical wisdom on difficult relationships is how it balances grace with truth. Scripture calls us to love and forgive, but it never requires us to enable destructive behavior or submit to manipulation. The Bible actually warns us to be wise about character patterns and to limit our exposure to people who consistently demonstrate harmful traits, regardless of their relationship to us.
The passages about recognizing false prophets and wolves in sheep’s clothing apply directly to manipulative relatives who use spiritual language or family obligations to control others. Scripture teaches us that love sometimes requires saying no, that wisdom involves discernment about character, and that protecting ourselves from manipulation isn’t unloving but necessary for both our well-being and potentially for the manipulator’s growth.
Say This Prayer
Heavenly Father, I’m struggling with family relationships that feel toxic and manipulative. These relatives know exactly how to make me feel guilty, responsible for their problems, and small in ways that leave me questioning my own perceptions. The family dynamics feel unhealthy, but I don’t know how to change them without feeling like I’m being unloving or unchristian.
Give me wisdom to recognize manipulation when it happens and strength to respond with both grace and truth. Help me to set healthy boundaries without being harsh or cruel. Show me the difference between honoring my family and enabling destructive behavior.
Protect my heart and mind from the lies and guilt trips that come my way. When I’m made to feel responsible for other people’s emotions or choices, remind me that I can only control my own actions and responses. Help me to respond with love while refusing to participate in unhealthy patterns.
Give me discernment about when to engage and when to step back. Help me to speak truth in love when it’s appropriate and to remain silent when words won’t help. Surround me with healthy relationships that remind me what normal family dynamics look like.
I pray for my manipulative relatives, too, that You would work in their hearts and help them see how their behavior hurts others. Bring healing to our family system in whatever way honors You most.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.