Verse: Genesis 26:34–35
Theme: Unwise Relationships and the Grief They Bring
And Esau was forty years old when he took to wife Judith the daughter of Beeri the Hittite and Bashemath the daughter of Elon the Hittite Which were a grief of mind unto Isaac and to Rebekah
— Genesis 26:34–35, King James Version (KJV)
At the age of forty Esau married two Hittite wives Judith the daughter of Beeri and Basemath the daughter of Elon But Esau’s wives made life miserable for Isaac and Rebekah
— Genesis 26:34–35, New Living Translation (NLT)
Esau was forty years old when he married Judith daughter of Beeri and Basemath daughter of Elon both Hittite women. They made life very bitter for Isaac and Rebekah
— Genesis 26:34–35, The Message (MSG)
Meaning of Genesis 26:34–35
Genesis 26:34–35 introduces a deeply personal and painful problem for Isaac and Rebekah. Their son Esau, at the age of forty, marries two Hittite women. These marriages were not just cultural missteps. They brought bitterness, sorrow, and grief into the lives of his parents. The Hittites were pagan people who did not worship the God of Abraham. By choosing wives from among them, Esau ignored the spiritual legacy and values of his family.
This passage shows how relational choices have consequences that go far beyond the individuals involved. Esau’s decision reflects a disregard for his parents’ counsel and a detachment from the covenant promises of God. It marks a turning point in the narrative, showing his spiritual blindness and lack of discernment.
The grief Isaac and Rebekah felt was not only emotional but spiritual. Their son’s marriages threatened the purity of the covenant line. These verses remind us that the people we align ourselves with influence not only our future but also the spiritual atmosphere of our homes and communities.
Popular Words of Wisdom from Genesis 26:34–35
Who you marry affects generations. Esau’s choice brought pain not only to his parents but to the promise
— John Bevere, Evangelist and Author of “The Bait of Satan”
Disregarding spiritual foundations for personal desires always ends in grief
— Lisa Harper, Bible Teacher and Author
Esau did not just choose wives. He chose a direction that ignored God. That is why it wounded Isaac and Rebekah
— Tony Evans, Pastor and President of The Urban Alternative
When your relationships contradict your convictions, conflict is inevitable
— Heather Lindsey, Founder of Pinky Promise Movement
Legacy matters. And who you marry shapes whether that legacy is protected or poisoned
— Benjamin Watson, Former NFL Player and Christian Leader
A marriage that dishonors God does not just break His law. It breaks hearts
— Tim Keller, Pastor and Christian Apologist
Esau did not see the weight of his choices. He underestimated how much spiritual heritage should shape relational decisions
— Dr. Dharius Daniels, Lead Pastor of Change Church
You cannot be aligned with the world and expect peace with the people of God
— Jackie Hill Perry, Writer and Christian Speaker
Explaining the Context of Genesis 26:34–35
These two verses serve as a turning point in Esau’s story. Up until this point, Genesis has recorded a rising tension between Esau and Jacob. Esau, the firstborn, had already shown disregard for his birthright when he sold it to Jacob for a meal. Now, in Genesis 26, we see another layer of his spiritual indifference: his choice of wives.
Isaac and Rebekah lived in a covenantal relationship with God, and they were very aware of the spiritual implications of marriage. Abraham had specifically forbidden Isaac from marrying a Canaanite woman. In fact, he sent his servant far away to find a wife for Isaac among his own people, to preserve the covenant lineage. But Esau, apparently ignorant or indifferent to this principle, married two local Hittite women. These women would not have shared the faith, values, or culture of Isaac’s household.
The consequence of this decision was not just disappointment. It was grief of mind. The original Hebrew suggests bitterness of spirit or inner turmoil. Esau’s choices brought not joy but heaviness to the family. The context of this passage builds the foundation for what happens next in Genesis 27, when Rebekah helps Jacob deceive Isaac to secure the blessing. The tension was already brewing.
Explaining the Key Parts of Genesis 26:34–35
And Esau Was Forty Years Old
This shows that Esau was not a rash youth. He was a grown man, mature enough to understand the weight of his decisions. This makes his lack of discernment even more alarming. He had seen the example of his father and grandfather, but did not follow it.
When He Took to Wife Judith and Bashemath
The act of taking two wives, both Hittites, reflects a careless approach to marriage and covenant. Esau did not seek counsel. He did not prioritize compatibility of faith. His choice was driven more by convenience or desire than by wisdom.
The Daughter of Beeri and the Daughter of Elon the Hittite
Mentioning their lineage underlines the significance of the cultural and spiritual mismatch. The Hittites were descendants of Canaan and were known for idolatry. These marriages represented a blending of godly lineage with ungodly practices.
Which Were a Grief of Mind Unto Isaac and to Rebekah
This is the emotional climax of the verse. Their grief was not petty or personal. It was spiritual. It reflected concern for the covenant, for the family’s future, and for the holiness God had called them to maintain. Their household was disrupted not by death or disaster but by disobedient relationships.
Lessons to Learn from Genesis 26:34–35
1. Relationships Are Spiritual Decisions
Esau’s marriages were not neutral. They had deep spiritual implications. Who we choose to walk with in life can either align us with God’s purposes or take us off course.
2. Ignoring Spiritual Legacy Invites Grief
Esau’s actions showed a disregard for the spiritual heritage of his family. When we disconnect from the wisdom and faith of those who came before us, we invite sorrow into our lives.
3. Culture Should Never Override Covenant
The Hittites represented the surrounding culture. Esau chose culture over covenant. This mistake cost him deeply and impacted the peace of his entire household.
4. Honor in the Home Begins with Wise Choices
Isaac and Rebekah were grieved because their son’s decisions brought dishonor. Honoring parents involves more than words. It includes making decisions that align with the values they hold sacred.
5. Personal Choices Can Affect Generational Promises
Esau’s decision was not isolated. It threatened to taint the covenant lineage. Our personal relationships have the power to influence generational blessing or generational confusion.
6. God’s People Are Called to Be Set Apart
Marriage is a sacred institution designed by God. When we join ourselves with those who do not share our faith, it often results in inner conflict. God calls His people to be distinct, not diluted.
7. Lack of Discernment in One Area Can Reveal Deeper Issues
Esau’s poor relational judgment was connected to his earlier disregard for the birthright. His spiritual vision was clouded. A consistent pattern of unwise choices often points to a deeper disconnect from God.
Related Bible Verses
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness and what communion hath light with darkness
— 2 Corinthians 6:14, King James Version (KJV)
He that walketh with wise men shall be wise but a companion of fools shall be destroyed
— Proverbs 13:20, King James Version (KJV)
Honour thy father and thy mother that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee
— Exodus 20:12, King James Version (KJV)
The heart of the prudent getteth knowledge and the ear of the wise seeketh knowledge
— Proverbs 18:15, King James Version (KJV)
Can two walk together except they be agreed
— Amos 3:3, King James Version (KJV)
How This Verse Points to Christ
Genesis 26:34–35 points to Christ by contrast. Where Esau’s relationships brought sorrow and spiritual confusion, Christ came to restore the right relationship between God and man. Jesus taught that family and relationships are ultimately about doing the will of the Father. He said, “Whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”
Esau’s choices fractured the spiritual atmosphere of his home. Jesus came to unify hearts under one faith, one hope, one calling. While Esau disregarded the covenant, Christ fulfilled it perfectly. He invites us into a relationship that transcends culture and background and is anchored in obedience and spiritual intimacy.
Jesus also warns His followers that not all relationships are beneficial. He calls for radical obedience that sometimes separates us from even close ties if they lead us away from God. Where Esau compromised, Christ calls us to be consecrated.
Closing Reflection
Genesis 26:34–35 is more than a narrative footnote. It is a warning wrapped in a family story. Esau’s decision to marry outside of the faith had far-reaching consequences. It brought grief to those who loved him and served as evidence of his spiritual indifference.
Our choices matter. Who we connect with, especially in covenant relationships like marriage, shapes not just our lives but the legacy we leave behind. God calls His people to be intentional, discerning, and obedient.
If you are making relational decisions today, seek God first. Consider not only compatibility but spiritual alignment. Ask whether your relationships reflect your covenant with God. Let the story of Esau remind us that peace at home begins with honoring God in the heart.
Say This Prayer
Heavenly Father
Thank You for reminding me through Your Word that relationships are not just personal decisions but spiritual ones. I ask for discernment in every connection I make. Help me to value Your covenant above cultural convenience or emotional impulse.
Teach me to honor the legacy of faith that has been entrusted to me. Let my choices bring peace, not grief, to those who have poured into my life. Align my relationships with Your will.
I choose to walk in wisdom, patience, and obedience. Strengthen my resolve to follow Your voice above all others.
In Jesus’ name, I pray
Amen.
Evang. Anabelle Thompson is the founder of Believers Refuge, a Scripture-based resource that helps Christians to find biblical guidance for life’s challenges.
With over 15 years of ministry experience and a decade of dedicated Bible study, she creates content that connects believers with relevant Scripture for their daily struggles.
Her work has reached over 76,000 monthly readers (which is projected to reach 100,000 readers by the end of 2025) seeking practical faith applications, biblical encouragement, and spiritual guidance rooted in God’s Word.
She writes from personal experience, having walked through seasons of waiting, breakthrough, and spiritual growth that inform her teaching.
Evang. Thompson brings 12 years of active ministry and evangelism experience, along with over 10 years of systematic Bible study and theological research.
As a former small group leader and Sunday school teacher, she has published over 200 biblical resources and devotional studies.
She specializes in applying Scripture to everyday life challenges and regularly studies the original Hebrew and Greek texts for a deeper biblical understanding.
